So this post is much overdo for two reasons
1. We haven't posted in awhile and
2. because it's been almost 2 years since we had this horrible experience.
I figured October was a good month for this post as it is
National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month..
so here is our story. Not many people aside from our close friends and family know about this but I thought it was time to share to let people know why we feel so blessed to have Madison and it is also to help other people out there going through it.
In April 2010 Chris and I found out we were expecting, our families shocked at first as we were not married became excited to become grandparents and uncles and everything else.. but that happiness quickly turned to sadness. About 4 weeks (May 30th) after we found out we were expecting I started to have severe pains and just an overall feeling that something
wasn't right.
After a few visits (3 visits in 2 days) to the hospital we finally found out I was suffering a miscarriage. It was probably the worst news I have ever received. I had the hard task of calling Chris and telling him the news. I was 11 weeks pregnant, so of course we already had discussed names and what we couldn't wait to with our child and also our families and already had hopes and dreams for them as well.
May 30th will always have a special place in our hearts as we gained a baby with wings.
June 4th 2010 Chris and I got married and started our life together.
Late October 2010 we once again found out we were expecting this time it was an immediate feeling of happiness followed by an overwhelming feeling of "will the same thing happen".
After going for blood work we found out that my levels were good and I was for sure pregnant and showing that I was about 8 weeks. So near the end of November we went for our 10 week ultrasound to make sure everything was ok with the baby and it was then we received some more devastating news there was no fetal pole. So we had to go back a week later to a specialist and to double check that maybe I wasn't as far along as they had originally thought.
It was then at that appointment we found out that I was suffering another miscarriage and on Monday November 29th I had a D&C to complete the miscarriage. We had some testing done on the tissue and found out that we had been expecting a girl and that were was nothing wrong with the fetus itself.
I immediately blamed myself for the miscarriage because if there was nothing wrong with the baby then it had to be me.
By talking with other people I began to realize that it was not my fault and that there was nothing we could have done to save our baby.
So now with two little babies watching over us we decided to let things happen naturally if it happens it happens if not then its not meant to be.
Well Super Bowl Sunday Feb 2011 I found out again we were expecting and due Oct 13th. This time we held out on telling everyone including our family, it was hard enough to deal with our miscarriages privately but to feel the pain of everyone who was excited to have a baby around made it even harder.
I became very sick and was hospitalized 3 times for dehydration so it was a little hard to keep it from our families. Chris was working the day of our ultrasound but I was very lucky my mom was visiting and she had come with me and was there when we got the most amazing news.. the baby was there and looked healthy! I was officially 10 weeks pregnant!
Chris and I had agreed to wait until the 12 week mark to tell anyone and so we did.. Everyone found out at the St. Patricks Day Parade! Our friends and family couldn't be happier but at the same time were praying that all would be ok.
After a long and high-risk pregnancy I went into labor October 14th and our gorgeous baby girl Madison Jay Murray was born at 1:52am on October 15 2011.
It was the moment we had all been waiting for a healthy baby.
October 15th is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.. I can't help but think that her unborn siblings had a part in that. ;)
A friend of ours who didn't know about our miscarriages commented on a picture on Facebook and said "when god was handing out cuteness Madison must have gone back for a few more helpings" I have never told that person just how much that comment meant to me and how much it has helped me certain days.
Anyways.. that is our story and I hope that everyone can take a moment this month to not only think and say a prayer for everyone who has been effected by Breast Cancer but also all the families who have lost a child be it born or unborn.
Thank you. xo's
