Monday, March 24, 2014

Post partum body..

No not mine, I am not ready to share a photo of my post partum body without a ton of clothes on.  
I did take a photo this morning in workout clothes ... My reasoning for this photo was to remember what my body looked like 18 days after for having our second little girl.  Of course like thousands of other moms I am not happy with the current state of my body BUT I am aware that my body is this way because for 39 weeks I was preparing to give birth to the most amazing gift anyone can receive.. A healthy baby.

After having Madison my confidence was so low, I had a horrible attitude towards my post partum body, but through my own fault I did not do anything to change it. I continued to eat foods that were not the best for me, it was a cold October so I wasn't out walking, and I had a tough recovery so there was so way I was setting foot in the gym. 

I wouldn't say I was depressed, I would say I was unhappy. I was unhappy with myself for allowing myself to gain so much weight, unhappy with myself for having no energy or desire to do anything to get into shape, and unhappy with myself because I couldn't understand why some women can be back to pre- baby size within days of giving birth.

This time around I am accepting of my post partum body mainly because I remembered how I felt after Madison and kept reminding myself that I can change it, but to also embrace it because I just created a new life. I did something that so many women can't do, at one point we didn't think it would be possible for us but we are lucky and things worked themselves out. 

I reminded myself daily about that.

I still have 9lbs to lose til I am back to my pre Beth weight, most of my jeans fit me, I am not comfortable wearing some shirts because of my "pouch". On top of those 9lbs I have 14more to lose to be back to pre Madison weight. As much as I have a goal weight I have other fitness goals .. Running a half marathon (in 11 months .. YIKES), getting back into my clothes and feel comfortable and confident in them, wear a bath suit comfortably and some other goals but mainly just to be in shape and confident!

I did start walking at a local park on nice days with the girls, and also started back at the gym today. My body has recovered much easier and quicker this time around so I am listening to my body and doing what I am comfortable doing and not pushing it to hard.

I think women need to stop and appreciate the gift they have been given and not worry about fitting into jeans 2 weeks after giving birth. It took 9 months to put it on and yes there are women who seems to be back in bikinis within weeks but most women, including myself, are not like that. It would be nice but it's just not in my DNA.

As for that photo of me.. Yes I will post it at some point when I am comfortable and ready. Maybe 3 months from now or maybe a year.. To show what a year of hard work and dedication to health and fitness looks like.  For now it will remain private for me to look at on days that I need a little more motivation :)

I am planning on blogging about my fitness journey and what works for me. I am currently working on completing my personal trainer certification so I have tons of rescources available to help me with my journey and would like to pay it forward and help other moms!  


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

An Open Letter

Does no one like to enjoy things anymore, before moving on to the next step?

I've been through dating someone, being engaged, getting married and having children and I feel like I'm always being asked ... Is he the one?, have you set a date?, are you trying for children?, are you going to have more?

What is wrong with taking time and enjoying the current relationship state?

Chris and I did have a very short engagement (13 days) but that was due to legalities and it worked for us. There's that saying "when you know, you know" and that applies to us. We knew each other for a little over a year and a half and were dating for almost a year. We spent that year traveling between NY and Canada and we knew we were over that and ready to be together in one place. 
We both knew we wanted to start a family as soon as possible and within a year and a half of getting married we welcomed our first daughter into the world.

Then the pressure started ... "Are you going to have another?" "How far apart do you want your kids?"
In all honesty I didn't want another one at first, with all of our pregnancy/fertility issues I was happy with one. When people would ask me those questions I really wanted to say "does it concern you ... No so stop being noisy" 

We decided when Madison was a year and half we were ready to start trying, we had enjoyed Madison has a new burn and we were ready to experience that again.

So almost 2 weeks ago we welcomed our second little girl to the world and already I have been asked if I want more!!!

Come on people can I have time to leave the hospital first?

At the moment we have no plans for a 3rd, we are enjoying the blessings we have been given and also trying to find time to ourselves. Learning to be a mom of 2 and a family of 4 is not an easy task... Balance is key!

So to everyone asking dating couples... You don't know if they have even discussed the next step and by throwing an engagemt out there might not be the best thing especially if they aren't at that stage yet.

To everyone out there asking any newly engaged couples... Chances are no they haven't set a date 10min after they got engaged, I doubt the first thing they are concerned with is calling a venue!

To everyone asking new married couples... Let them enjoy being one as a couple before putting the added pressure of bringing another life into the world!

To everyone asking new parents... Just stop, let them enjoy having a healthy little one to love. They know have to try to build their relationship as parents. 

To everyone asking 2nd time parents ... Again stop, you don't know what they went through to have just one, so to have another is a great blessing that they should have time to enjoy!

Unless you are directly affected by the decisions they make I highly suggest you stop asking when they are going to move to the next step. 

Thursday, March 13, 2014

What a week

So hard to believe this was our due date and here I am typing this blog with our beautiful 1 week old little girl beside me!
We came home on Saturday and it has been non stop around here between the 2 girls and just life in general! 
Dear time please slow down!!!

Beth Update
- umbilical cord fell off today.. Yay no more worrying about rubbing it the wrong way when holding her or changing her!!
- eating like a champ every 2-4 hours depends on the day
- slept 6 hours last night (my sanity is slowly coming back)
- swimming in her newborn clothes - just like her big sister
- at docs appt she was 5lbs 15oz and they were shocked at how strong her neck is.. Again just like her big sister.

Mommy Update 

Weight loss: 15 down - 11 to go! (Officially had gained 26lbs on delivery day)

Exercise: I haven't started yet, have been waiting until we are on more of a schedule feeding wise .. Will start walking and light exercises in the next 2 weeks.

Breast or bottle: exclusively breastfeeding- wasn't able to breast feed Madison so this is a new experience for all of us.

Sleeping: well yes actually. Usually 3-4 hours at a time at night!

Baby schedule: not yet. Too early but she is pretty consistent with a long morning nap and long afternoon nap. And nighttime depends like I said last night she did 6hours in a row but it's usually 3-4.

Mood: pretty decent, had a minor breakdown our first night home, I think it finally hit me that we now had 2 children!!

Madison is still getting used to things as well, she loves her little sister but at the same time doesn't understand why she constantly needs our attention. While Beth naps we try to spend that time with Madison either watching a movie! coloring or letting her play doctor and constantly check our ears!

Come on spring!!!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Elizabeth Joy...

Well here is it .. Elizabeth's birth story. I have been hesitating about writing thing because 
1. Do people really want the details?
2. Do I really want to share it?

Well after some thinking I realized over the course of my pregnancy I read ALOT of birth stories, mostly about second children, then last week it became more about being induced.. So if other people's stories helped me then why not share ours!

It really all started last Monday March 3rd, We went for the 1st of our weekly appointments and the doctor said everything is good and the baby is super super low. After we talked about hockey for abit (Ya our doctor is pretty awesome.. huge Rangers fan and had drove to Montreal that weekend for Habs vs Toronto) anyways, after that conversation I brought up being induced because of the infection I had and the severe amount of pain I was in from that and also from the position of the baby. 
Dr. Berck decided that because of everything and the fact I would be 39 weeks on Thursday it would be ok. So we left our appointment knowing we would be getting a phone call with our day and time to head to the hospital.

We found out on Tuesday that we would need to be at the hospital at 7am on Thursday March 6th. It suddenly hit us that we would be meeting out 2nd little one that day! 
Wednesday was spent enjoying the last day with only one child, we took Madison to school and headed to Buy Buy Baby to pick up a few last minute things we needed. After that it was all about Madison for the rest of the day!
We dropped Madison off at Chris' parents and Chris and I headed to "The Cabin" for dinner!

Thursday morning came up pretty fast (helped that we both got a great sleep), we were up and out the door by 6:20am! Once we got to the hospital, they started me on an IV and told us the doctor would be in at 8 to check everything and we would be starting the pitocen, and then there would be NO turning back!

At about 8:20am the started the pitocen drip, I was feeling great, had some painful contractions but nothing really serious. I was trying to sleep a little before I needed to do some work. During all this Chris had to run home because our thermostat was telling us it was offline .. so we had to make sure it was working since our dog was home all day!
He came back and was hoping that there had been some progress but nope, nothing. Around 1130 I decided to get my epidural, not because of pain but because I was still feeling good enough to sit still for it! At 12:15pm the doc broke my water. I thought things would pick up at that point but NOPE! Still the same as I was at 8am. I was starting to get a little worried this was never going to happen, or I would be sitting there for hours!

At 3pm I was still not progressing, our doc and nurse both said this baby would be born between 3 and 4 so I was certain they were wrong but they kept saying no, it would be soon.

To my surprise my parents showed up at 3:35pm, they said they would try to make it but couldn't promise it would be that day but they said they would come friday. So I was very happy to see them. Around the same time the nurse came in and put me on oxygen because the baby's heart rate was dropping with each contraction. At 3:50 I told the nurse I was feeling pressure so my parents left the room so I could be checked and sure enough it was Go Time! 

Suddenly I was not so ready for this to happen, all day I had been waiting for those words "its time to push" but now that it was finally hear the memories of Madison's birth suddenly came flooding back, I remembered the pain and the 2 hours I pushed.

At around 3:55 it all started, I pushed about 12 times and at 4:17pm our little Lady was born!
Elizabeth Joy
6lbs 6oz 19 1/2inches.

 Chris called his parents when we found out it was time to push and he was texting his mom between pushes to tell them to hurry, little did we know that in the short drive (25min) they baby would already be born! Chris waited to go tell my parents about the baby until his parents and Madison were there. 
Madison was the first to come in and see her baby sister, her reaction was priceless "Elizabeth so cuuuttteee"
First family picture

Madison was so in love with her little sister, we all are. 
Elizabeth is a mini Madison, she looks just like her sister, except Elizabeth's hair is slightly darker.

This is as we were about to leave the hospital, we had another wonderful experience at Northern Westchester Hospital. All of our nurses were incredible, they were so nice and helpful and super knowledgable! I would recommend this hospital to anyone! Since having Madison they updated all the beds, and the menu, seriously best hospital food I have ever had!

The past week has been such a joy, it had its tough moments, such as the first night home (no sleep) and trying to keep Madison from feeling like she is left out. It has been and will continue to be a learning experience, its tough BUT its worth it!

Thank you to everyone for your congratulatory messages and phone calls!
Off to spend some time with my almost 1 week old!

And since the weekly bumpdate posts are done, I have decided to do something a little different each week on Thursdays. 
Stay tuned to see what I've got in store!


Friday, March 7, 2014

And we have a ...

healthy, happy, beautiful baby GIRL!!!!
Elizabeth Joy was born 3/6/2014 at 4:17pm, 6lbs 6oz 19 1/2inches. 
She is Madison's mini me! 
We are all so in love with our newest princess and can't wait to see Elizabeth and Madison grow up together.

I can't wait to get home this weekend and write her birth story.

Thank you to everyone for your kind works of support and congratulations!


Wednesday, March 5, 2014

39 weeks and done counting

Well the time has come for the last of the weekly "bump-date" posts!
I know, I know its a day early .. BUT that is because tomorrow March 6th we will be a little busy welcoming our little one to the world!
I am set to be induced at 7am!

How far along are you?: 39 weeks 
Total weight gain: 24lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes, but not much longer
Stretch marks?  nothing new
Sleep: slept very well this past week!
Best moment this week: Find out we would be induced on March 6th!
Miss Anything? Walking up stairs without getting winded.
Movement: it has slowed down... baby has been sleeping lots in preparation to meet us!
Food cravings: nothing this week
Anything making you queasy or sick: nauseous at bedtime.
Gender predictions:  I think boy but it's probably a girl... we will find out soon! 
Labor Signs: lots of cramping, contractions and the baby has dropped!
Belly Button in or out? In .. Never popped with Madison.
Wedding rings on or off? on.. dont think they are coming off anytime soon!
Happy or Moody most of the time: happy, happy happy 
Looking forward to: finally meeting our little one.. and finding out if Madison will have a brother or a sister!

If you are wondering why I am being induced it is because we had some issues come about this week, and the doctors are concerned about a kidney infection as well as I am in a crazy amount of pain because of the pressure from the baby. Our doctor is happy that we made 39 weeks and is fine with inducing me now! 

It will be a different experience from Madison as I went into labor naturally with her, but I can't complain.. I am DONE!

This is the last post for a few days!
I will try to update quickly once the baby is born so all of you following along can see where our pregnancy journey ends and our 2nd adventure into parenthood starts.


Sunday, March 2, 2014

March.. in like a lion.. Out with a baby?

Happy March Y'all!

It's the month that we in the Murray Household have been waiting for since the beginning of July!
It seems like it has gone by so fast but yet so slow. I am writing this blog thinking of all the fun, scary and emotional things that will be happening over the next few weeks.

This weekend was a fun one, Madison got to spend Thursday- Sunday morning with my parents!
They came down from Canada for a concert that we had gotten them tickets for at Christmas- George Strait and Martina McBride. Just one of the positive things about living so close to many awesome places is being able to host people when they come visit those places!

We all had a great time visiting and we are excited for their pending visit as soon as this baby comes!
I think Madison really enjoyed her time alone with them on Saturday morning, she got to go shopping and ride in Opa's truck (which she loves!)
She wasn't really into having her picture taken this morning.
This morning when she realized they were leaving, she threw herself on the floor like a typical 2 year old throwing a tantrum and cried because "Opa not leaving me".

We had some dinner visitors on Saturday night, Chris' cousin Lindsay and her son Ryan. It was so nice to have them up as Lindsay hadn't been to the house yet and Madison loves playing with Ryan!

Today we have some more excitement, it is Mima's (Chris mom's) birthday this coming wednesday, so we are having her birthday dinner with all of Chris' brothers and Madison is super excited to be able to spend time with her cousin Bella!

Hopefully Madison's excitement will continue as we get ready to welcome her little brother or sister!