I did take a photo this morning in workout clothes ... My reasoning for this photo was to remember what my body looked like 18 days after for having our second little girl. Of course like thousands of other moms I am not happy with the current state of my body BUT I am aware that my body is this way because for 39 weeks I was preparing to give birth to the most amazing gift anyone can receive.. A healthy baby.
After having Madison my confidence was so low, I had a horrible attitude towards my post partum body, but through my own fault I did not do anything to change it. I continued to eat foods that were not the best for me, it was a cold October so I wasn't out walking, and I had a tough recovery so there was so way I was setting foot in the gym.
I wouldn't say I was depressed, I would say I was unhappy. I was unhappy with myself for allowing myself to gain so much weight, unhappy with myself for having no energy or desire to do anything to get into shape, and unhappy with myself because I couldn't understand why some women can be back to pre- baby size within days of giving birth.
This time around I am accepting of my post partum body mainly because I remembered how I felt after Madison and kept reminding myself that I can change it, but to also embrace it because I just created a new life. I did something that so many women can't do, at one point we didn't think it would be possible for us but we are lucky and things worked themselves out.
I reminded myself daily about that.
I still have 9lbs to lose til I am back to my pre Beth weight, most of my jeans fit me, I am not comfortable wearing some shirts because of my "pouch". On top of those 9lbs I have 14more to lose to be back to pre Madison weight. As much as I have a goal weight I have other fitness goals .. Running a half marathon (in 11 months .. YIKES), getting back into my clothes and feel comfortable and confident in them, wear a bath suit comfortably and some other goals but mainly just to be in shape and confident!
I did start walking at a local park on nice days with the girls, and also started back at the gym today. My body has recovered much easier and quicker this time around so I am listening to my body and doing what I am comfortable doing and not pushing it to hard.
I think women need to stop and appreciate the gift they have been given and not worry about fitting into jeans 2 weeks after giving birth. It took 9 months to put it on and yes there are women who seems to be back in bikinis within weeks but most women, including myself, are not like that. It would be nice but it's just not in my DNA.
As for that photo of me.. Yes I will post it at some point when I am comfortable and ready. Maybe 3 months from now or maybe a year.. To show what a year of hard work and dedication to health and fitness looks like. For now it will remain private for me to look at on days that I need a little more motivation :)
I am planning on blogging about my fitness journey and what works for me. I am currently working on completing my personal trainer certification so I have tons of rescources available to help me with my journey and would like to pay it forward and help other moms!
Xo's
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