Pregnancy after a loss...

Last year I wrote a super personal post about the miscarriages we suffered before having Madison, you can read the post here (http://keepingupwiththemurrays.blogspot.com/2012/10/always-in-our-hearts.html)

So I feel it's time for another personal post, this isn't something I like to discuss in depth with people because it brings up a lot of emotions... We have always been very open about our miscarriages and will continue to be, but deciding to try again for a baby after Madison was one of the most difficult decisions we have made.

Chris and I both had some reservations about trying again mainly what if...?, Chris was a little more relaxed and was more what happens happens, where I on the other hand was very nervous and didn't know if I could handle that possibility again. If it were up to Chris we would have started trying before Madison turned 1, but I was to nervous.  

It took a lot of talking to my parents, my friends and Chris as well as our doctor to convince me that it was ok to try. In the spring I was finally in a place mentally that I could say I am ready! I know some people may wonder why would you think about something so bad so much, to me it wasn't thinking about the bad possibilities, it was thinking if I could mentally handle the possibilities, could I be there for my husband, could I still be a great mom to Madison, can I take care of myself?

Starting or expanding a family is not something that should be taken lightly no matter what your situation is. So far we have been so blessed with this pregnancy it has been super easy compared to Madison, but we can't help but breath a sigh of relieve at each milestone.. The positive test, the fabulous bloodwork, the first time hearing the heartbeat, the 13 week mark, the half way point and I know the 3rd trimester and having this little love bug will other big milestones!

I had said after Madison I was not planning on having any other children because of our history and how hard of a pregnancy I had but I think taking the 1.5 years to think about it, settle into life as a mother and really weigh the options was the best for us. 

Since it is infant and pregnancy loss awareness month lets just take a minute to remember our 2 angels in heaven 

Xox