First Pregnancy vs Second

Lately I have been finding different reasons to compare this pregnancy to my pregnancy with Madison, I think this is mainly because both pregnancies had their share of issues (single artery cord or intrauterine growth syndrome) but also because I am curious as to what we are having.. boy or girl. So I have compared symptoms, how I am carrying, what kind of aches and pains etc.. 

I have come up with some different reasons why this pregnancy is almost easier in a way but also I looked at what made me so miserable while pregnant with Madison.

34 weeks with Madison and 34 weeks with current pregnancy.

My pregnancy with Madison started in a very hard time for me.. we had just suffered our second miscarriage and we were in a place of "if it happens it happens. I honestly was NOT expecting it to happen so quickly.  This pregnancy started in a good place, we had a happy healthy 1.5yr old and we were ready to try again not just "if it happens" but we were actually tracking everything and trying.

I think mentally I was in a MUCH better spot this time then I was with Madison.

I will admit I don't think I was emotionally ready to be pregnant again within 2 months of losing a baby. I had a lot of fears going into the pregnancy and that made it much harder to actually celebrate the pregnancy! 

I was also unhappy with a lot of things in my life at that point .. I was working as nanny, something I had done for years and loved, but there was I was taking care of some one else's child when I was getting ready to have my own. I knew I didn't want to be a nanny anymore. I think that contributed to what I would call my "pregnancy depression". I wasn't happy to wake up everyday and go to work!

I was also unhappy because here was this amazing thing happening and my family lived 6hrs away and wasn't close by to celebrate or go through it with me. Not having my mom there made it very difficult for me. I was lucky to have such amazing support from my husband and in-laws and friends but nothing compares to your mom. :)

This time around I am in a career that I LOVE! I am excited when I go into work. It makes me sad thinking that in 2 weeks I will be done work for a bit! I am currently working at a preschool as a substitute, but I am also a co-teacher for math and science. I am not full time so I still get to spend time with Madison and have sometime to myself. I wake up and get ready everyday and I get dressed in things other than yoga pants and a sweater. I can do my hair and make up and feel good about myself because I know I will be in public and not sitting in someones house for 9 hours getting spit up on!

I have come to accept the fact that my family is never going to be able to here for everything and I am fine with that! I think my pregnancy with Madison made me realize I can do things without my mom!

There were SO many unknowns and questions with my first pregnancy, and yes there are still unknowns and questions this time around but I know there are things I can control and things I can't.

While pregnant with Madison my concerns were:

• Is Chris going to be accepting of my new body and my moods and emotions?
• What kind of a mother would I be?
• What kind of a father would Chris be?
• What is labor like?
• Would Chris and other family members be supportive of my choice to breastfeed? (it ended up not working out for medical reasons)
• Would Chris and I be stronger because of this or weaker?

I had so many other questions but those were the big ones, and clearly I don't need to be worried about those things now because I know the answers. My family and Chris were more then supportive of any decision that I made. Chris and I are stronger then ever! Labor.. well that was a treat ;)

I know that no labor is the same as the last so I know as much as I want to get my epidural and just have this baby that may not happen. Something may happen and c-section might be necessary, but I am much calmer this time going into everything knowing that I made it through the last one!

Physically there has been a MASSIVE difference. I wasn't working out or as concerned about my health and fitness before I got pregnant with Madison and I really believe it was because I was still mourning the loss of our second baby. I was eating whatever looked good because I was so sick and whenever I could eat it would be the quickest, easiest and usually the most unhealthy thing possible. I didn't workout during that pregnancy because I was nervous anything would cause a miscarriage... bad idea! 

I gained 52 lbs! 

This time I was exercising ALOT before we decided to try again I was 10lbs away from being my pre-Madison weight! Once I found out I was expecting I continued to exercise but just took it a little easier. I had just started to really enjoy running and had signed up for a 5k color run, so I continued to walk and run. When it came time for the run I was 14 weeks along and was battling horrible morning sickness. I completed the run, while walking a bit, but still completed it! 

I continued to exercise and eat healthy until it got a little to cold to take Madison out for walks and then I just made sure to eat healthy!

So far with 6 weeks left I have gained 18 lbs (was 20lbs but I lost 2 somehow). Both the baby and I are healthy and I am NOT concerned with the number on the scale, but with how I feel. 

I feel much happier this time because I am not concerned with the gain!

I know that after I have this baby I will be in a better place to begin the fun weight loss process again because I have stayed healthy this time! My only vice has been diet pepsi (caffeine free). 

Over all I feel like this pregnancy has been the exact opposite from the first and I really do believe that it is because of my mental and physical state going into it!

I am truly blessed to have such a supportive husband who also makes sure to tell me I look beautiful and makes me feel special. Even on days I feel miserable because the baby is just putting a lot pressure on my sciatic nerve, or I am just exhausted I know that no matter what I have someone who will always make the situation better.

Here's hoping for a happy and healthy 6 weeks :) 

33 weeks

How far along are you?: 33 weeks 

Total weight gain: 20lbs. 

Maternity clothes? Yes.

Stretch marks?  nothing new 

Sleep: insomnia kicked in.

Best moment this week: Madison telling me she loves her baby.

Miss Anything? Sleep, sleep and oh sleep!

Movement: yes! 

Food cravings: cheese sticks!

Anything making you queasy or sick: being hungry makes me nauseous 

Gender predictions: I'm still thinking boy

Labor Signs: no .. braxton hicks contractions galore!

Belly Button in or out? In .. Never popped with Madison.

Wedding rings on or off? on.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy 

Looking forward to: delivering a healthy baby

This past week has been a little emotional.. We found out the baby isn't growing at the proper rate (stopped growing at 29/30 weeks). I had to get 2 steroid shots to mature the babies lungs in case we need to have this baby before 36 weeks. Good new BOTH the baby and I are healthy and I just have to be monitored weekly to make sure everything goes well!

It was also emotional because moved into the new house! Last night was actually Madison's first night in her big girl room! She was great.. She woke up at 130am screaming so I actually ended up sleeping with her the rest of the night. So cross your fingers tonight is better!

Xo's

32 weeks.. 2 months to go!

How far along are you? 32 weeks .. can't believe we have 2 months left!

Total weight gain: 20lbs last week.. 

Maternity clothes? Yes.

Stretch marks?  nothing new 

Sleep: was getting better but then Madison and I both came down with a nasty cough that is keeping us all up!

Best moment this week: Madison rubbing my belly saying "its a baby its so cute"

Miss Anything? same thing I've been saying working out... but also being comfortable in the car for longer period, being able to get out of the bath without having to think about how to do it so I don't fall.

Movement: yes! lots of movement and LOTS of hiccups! I love it! 

Food cravings: oddly enough.. Bree cheese.  

Anything making you queasy or sick: coughing alot makes me feel like I'm going to get sick.

Gender predictions: I'm still thinking boy

Labor Signs: no .. braxton hicks contractions galore!

Belly Button in or out? In .. Never popped with Madison.

Wedding rings on or off? on.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy 

Looking forward to: closing tomorrow!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to being prepping our new house for our new addition!

We've had alot of questions about names.. we have told some people but are generally keeping it low key until we have our little one in our arms :)

Both names have been Madison tested and approved.. she can say both and can say the nicknames for both as well.

We tried to pick names that have a meaning of some sort. We don't want to name the baby directly after someone.. so no Ryan, Brett, Michael etc.. so we have decided once again the middle name will be the special name.

Madison's name is special as Chris and I met at Madison Square Garden and her middle name is Jay .. which is my middle name and my grand fathers first name! 

Unfortunately my grandfather passed away in summer 2009 so he never got to meet his 1st great grandchild but I know because of the name there will always be a special bond.

So we felt the same for this baby!

Madison was sick this weekend. It was NOT fun. She woke up Thursday with a cough and that quickly escalated into a 102.7 fever by 3pm so it was off to the doctors where we learnt she had a virus.. so she had her first sick day from school for the new year.

By saturday she was feeling a little more like herself which was great because it was snowing!! Not just little snowflakes you see all the time but did quarter sized snowflakes!

Madison was lucky enough to catch one on her finger.

Madison is also cutting molars like crazy! Her 2 bottom ones have cut through and the 2 top ones are just about ready.. her gums have been swollen for about a month now! The rest of her teeth all cut rather quickly these ones are taking their time and making her miserable! Hopefully they will be in soon!

As for potty training.. I am determined to only have 1 child in diapers! Madison has been using the toilet on and off since about September. She isn't a fan of the toilet at Uncle Mike's so living here hasn't helped the toilet training process she says the "potty is to big".  The new house has a toilet on each floor so we will be in full potty training mode! We also have a week off school in February so lots of time to practice! We have used the baby as a way to help prep her for her big girl bed (twin sized with a railing!) so we may have to use the baby as a way to prep her for no diapers!

So far we have avoided purchasing a lot for the baby as we have everything from Madison and because we don't know the gender we can't get anything specific! So today we bought some formula mainly because it was on sale but also because I had a horrific experience breast feeding with Madison BUT I will be trying it again.. I just need a back up! We also got a comfy cozy blanket from Pottery Barn Kids, and a crib sheet from there as well. We are doing the nursery in gray's and then adding navy or pink! We have a few other little things... new born onesies, coming home outfit (1 boy 1 girl .. we will see what one get used!) and thats about all we have purchased so far!

The next 8 weeks are going to be absolute craziness and I can't wait for all the fun, excitement, and changes. Its going to be tough to get used to the new house, and being a family of 4 BUT it will be so worth it!

xo's

31 weeks .. big week for the Murray family!

How far along are you? 31 weeks .. down to single digit countdown!

Total weight gain: 20lbs! woooo!

Maternity clothes? Yes.

Stretch marks?  nothing new 

Sleep: getting better.. I am hoping that by closing on the house this coming friday will relieve some stress and I will sleep again!

Best moment this week: a little girl at school asked "did you order a boy or a girl?"

Miss Anything? working out!!! .. its crazy but I actually miss it!

Movement: yes! lots of movement and LOTS of hiccups! I love it! 

Food cravings: strawberry banana smoothies! 

Anything making you queasy or sick: nothing anymore!

Gender predictions: I think boy but part of me thinks girl.. 2 girls 2 years apart would be fun! 

Labor Signs: no .. braxton hicks contractions as annoying times but thats it!

Belly Button in or out? In .. Never popped with Madison.

Wedding rings on or off? on.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy 

Looking forward to: well I was going to say closing on our house this week BUT.. change of plans thats not happening until tuesday.. apparently the bank is over booked for friday!


xo's

Throwback to Halloween

So I was horrible with posts last year about Madison especially since I started the pregnancy tracker... between not having the computer, moving and everything else going on I totally forgot to post any pictures of Madison on Halloween!!!

This year we did a few fun things ... we went to Boo at the Zoo with Aunt LaLa (Lindsay) and Ryan. It was so much fun this year. Last year Madison and Ryan were both to small to really do anything so this year was a whole new experience.

Bug carousel 

Doing the hay maze with Daddy.

Ryan and the Cat, Madison would not sit with it!

The fact that she smiled while sitting beside the blown up pumpkin still shocks me!

 We also visited Barton Orchards to get our pumpkin! Madison has grown a little bit since our last visit to the orchard! I think this is such a cute way to see how she grows as we visit the orchard each October!

Fall 2012

Fall 2013

 They have tons of fun activities at the orchard for the kids to do! A hay maze, duck races, where you need to pump the water so the duck can float!

Another hay maze!

 They have a petting zoo with ponies, pigs, goats, llamas, ducks rabbits etc.. Madison was really fond of the little pony that hung out near the fence. It took a little bit of convincing from Chris but Madison FINALLY get the pony!

 After some fun at the petting zoo part we headed for the hay ride! Madison really enjoyed this! She loved seeing all the pumpkins and the apple trees!

Last orchard outing as a family of 3.

 This year for halloween I let Madison choose her costume and she picked a leopard! The pants didn't fit her tiny little waste so we skipped that part and just went with the top! She loved it! I was a little worried that she wouldn't keep the hood on but she did!

Trick or Treating in Dobbs Ferry!

Me and my Leopard :)

It's hard to believe that these are some of our "lasts"... last halloween in Dobbs Ferry, last trip to the orchard as a family of 3 etc.. it is a little sad since we have spent the last 3 halloweens trick or treating the main streets of Dobbs Ferry. Madison was only 2 weeks old her first halloween and we bundled her up and walked the streets and saw all of our neighborhood friends and their kids dressed up!  I think we will make an effort each year to come to Dobbs Ferry for halloween so Madison can enjoy trick or treating on the shut down main streets as well as seeing her friends!

I am looking forward to matching themed costumes for the next few halloweens for our littles :)

xo's

Facelift

.. no not that kind.

Hopefully we wont be needing one of those .. EVER! Our blog however needed some updating. So I hope you like our new layout and background!! This was possible because.. we got out iMac fixed!! Finally!!! 

I am also now able to take the photos from October to the present off our camera (Madison's birthday included!) So over the next few days be prepared to see lots of pictures!

Waiting for her birthday cupake!

Visiting Opa and Grandma in Canada for thanksgiving and Madison's 2nd birthday

Opening presents from Aunt Kate

Excited for her princess cake!

Now I'm off to delete more unnecessary things from our computer to make room for more pictures!

xo's

30 weeks .. 10 to go!!!

How far along are you? 30 weeks .. Already???

Total weight gain: 18lbs.. Will find out again at docs next week. Probably put on holiday weight 

Maternity clothes? Yes.

Stretch marks?  Just what's left over from Madison 

Sleep: you mean that thing when you close your eyes and shut down for 8hrs? .. Doesn't happen 

Best moment this week: realizing that this YEAR we will become a family of 4

Miss Anything? My non maternity clothes, hot chocolate with baileys ... Don't judge me 

Movement: lots and I love it all 

Food cravings: vanilla lattes 

Anything making you queasy or sick: when I'm hungry I get nauseous

Gender predictions: I'm stuck on boy.. Chris is thinking girl  Madison changes her answer daily 

Labor Signs: no .. I'm good for another 7-10 weeks thank you

Belly Button in or out? In .. Never popped with Madison.

Wedding rings on or off? on.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy 

Looking forward to: getting back to our routine

So the past 2 weeks went by so fast, a little to fast for my liking. Between all the family visits and holidays and parties I feel like I didn't get a real break! I think Madison feels the opposite as she was asking, no, begging to go back to school. She really does Elmwood.. It's hard NOT to love it! She woke up everyday the last week asking if it was Monday for school. 

This morning the first thing she said to me was "mommy it's Monday I go to school. YAY" and then she proceeded to dance around the room. 

She has been coming out with some pretty awesome quotes lately, the other day she was crying because "my toes stuck to my feet". I love her so much more each day and seeing her learn new things amazes me all the time!!!

She is becoming very dramatic and when it's not towards you it's pretty funny, she likes to throw her hands up in the air and say "oh (insert name here)" whenever someone says no to her. She also throes her head into her hands when she is scared, or thinks she getting in trouble. She also got into real trouble for the first time ... I was a little shocked and not sure how to handle myself or the situation as I was expecting to have to discipline her already.. And I was for sure NOT ready to be slapped across the face for telling her no. So welcome to a new stage of parenting I guess!

As for a house update ... We are waiting for the call this week telling us we can close as the survey is complete!!!! We are really hoping to close the 15-17. Chris has vacation starting the 25th so it will be nice to have the main renovation done.. Wall down and also paint and back splash done so while on vacation he can spend time unpacking and putting our lives back together! Also if those big things are done before he's on vacation then he can rest a little;) 

Rest is going to become a priority in the next few weeks for all of us. 10 weeks or so and our lives are going to be flipped upside down! Chris worked a lot last week and stayed at the firehouse because of the storm so it was so nice on Saturday he made me, yes made me, go get a manicure. I always feel guilty about taking time to myself but sometimes I need that push. The gym time USED  to be my me time so once I'm cleared to work out that time will come back to me!!

Hopefully in the next few days I will be able to tell you all we've set our closing date and I can order our change of address announcements.

Xo's